"Locked Down"

This is some straight up baller shit. Imagine dating a girl, taking a month break from said girl, bang another chick, get her pregnant, then go back and marry the first girl. Hey Gabby Union, keep it up. I bet Dwayne Wade could bang Gabby's mother and get away with it. Pussy on lock down.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-dwyane-wade-baby-love-child-gabrielle-union-aja-metoyer-20131231,0,2107021.story#axzz2p5qookFZ

"Speed Injection"

Uh-oh. I have a feeling this is gonna be the start of something magically horrible. How much do you want to bet that Yasiel Puig gets busted for methamphetamine in the next couple years? I'll bet a dollar. He is young. He is rich. He's from Cuba. A recipe for disaster. Five years ago he did not even have shoes. Now he is one of the most popular players in the league. History does not bode well for these types. Look, I am all for reckless driving and drug abuse, but please, respect the game Yasiel. Los Angeles needs you. Don't end up in some seedy motel in Pomona, high on crack. I know it's tempting. Just don't do it. Keep your nose clean.

http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/mlb/story/_/id/10206639/yasiel-puig-los-angeles-dodgers-arrested-being-clocked-110-mph

"Match Blonde"

And the Athlete of the Day goes to.......

Anne Kournikova

The reason for this is only based on her looks. I am not pretending she was that great of a tennis player. She had some nice games but her body was nicer. Is she still with Enrique Iglesias? I hope not. A friend of mine had dinner with Enrique once. They had mutual friends. She said that he got mad because no one recognized him and stormed out of the dinner. Poor bastard.

"Big Bird"

He always looks sick to me. Like he is gonna give everyone influenza. I picture him always blowing his nose in the locker room. Always coughing up something. Heating pad on his chest with some Vicks vapor rub. Suck it up Gasol, you're not any sicker than you look at all times. Kobe is out. Get to work.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/lakersnow/la-sp-ln-pau-gasol-lakers-out-20131221,0,3321735.story#axzz2oz6dX9Qy

"King Liar"

Happy 29th Birthday to Lebron James. I thought he was at least thirty five. They really should check his birth certificate. I am a great judge of how old a person is by looking at a picture of them. So, he is thirty five.

"Blow Out"

This does not surprise me. Andrew Bynum banging the wife of one of his coaches. Looks like someone made Andrew do one too many suicides. "Do another Bynum"! "Oh really. I'm gonna bang your wife. Watch me". The sad thing about this is that I bet the coach thought he had a good marriage. Nope. Sorry pal. You married a tramp, now you have to deal with it. Or this story could be all bullshit. But I tend to believe this one. I admire the balls on Bynum, because this takes a huge pair. The coach should of saw this one coming. Because judging from his hairstyles in the past, this kid does not give a fuck. He will bang your wife and laugh about it.

http://cdn.mediatakeout.com/66873/mto-world-exclusive-nba-star-andrew-bynum-was-reportedly-suspended-after-having-relations-with-the-wife-of-one-of-the-cavaliers-coaching-staff.html

"Leftover"

Christ. Talk about taking out the trash. A bunch of coaches got the axe. Schwartz, Shanahan and a couple other guys for teams I could give a shit about. Tough to be a NFL coach these days. The thing that strikes me though is this. These guys must of kinda knew they were gonna get fired. Shit, I knew they were. So they must have. If I knew I was gonna get fired from my job, I would cause absolute bedlam. Can you put this together for me? Nope. Eat shit. Then  I would do something horrible. Like steal a employee's car. Not a nice car either. I would pick one of the employee's that don't make much money and drive their shitbox into a river. Stuff like that hurts more. Taking stuff away from the poor and destroying it.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/black-monday-tracker-leslie-frazier-mike-shanahan-among-145643759--nfl.html

"Got Milk"

Chris Weidman drinks a lot of milk. He must right? Or are his bones made of iron? Because to splinter the great Anderson Silva's leg with a check speaks to me more than a knockout. How many times do you think Anderson Silva has kicked something hard? Like real hard. How many times? It is an infinite amount. His legs are solid from years of using them as lethal weapons. But on this night, Chris Weidman splintered Silva's shin like dry wood, ending his career. If you don't think it is over for Silva, trust me, it is. At 38, it would be too hard to come back from an injury like that. And really there is no need to.

I did not think Chris Weidman was gonna win this fight. I have never really seen anything special about him. That all changed tonight. It's the kind of special that you only see when you are in the octagon with him. No flash. Just technique. Heart. Will power. All that intangible stuff that they talk about. He also might be like fighting a brick wall that can throw kicks, punches, elbows, and knees. Not to mention his all american wrestling credentials. I really don't know if you can hurt this kid either. His mind will not allow his body to be hurt. Unless, Vitor Belfort kicks a hole through his face. Which I can see happening. But now, Chris Wiedman is a super hero made of iron.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ufc/2013/12/29/ufc-168-chris-weidman-wins-anderson-silva-gruesome-leg-injury/4238605/

"D-Fence"

I would of D'd the kid up. I would not of cared. I am a competitor. Sorry. Call me what you will, but I would not of went down like that.Yes, I know the kid has down syndrome. I know this. But let's think about the other kid who was not playing D on him. Watch the video, the kid lays back. You think that kid's father is ever gonna let him live that down? I know my Dad would not of. Bottom line. Play to win, even if your competitor has down syndrome.

http://inagist.com/all/414453042139107328/

"Al Be Swirly"

I wish Al Davis was alive so he could give Terrelle Pryor's agent a swirly. How dare this asshole run his mouth. Just leave the Raiders be buddy. You are not helping the team or your client. Matter of fact, you are hurting your client.

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/12/terrelle-pryors-agent-thinks-its-ridiculous-hes-starting-in-week-17/

"Nomo"

And in Breaking News.......

"This pain will not keep me out next week". Tony Romo

Romo out. Sorry Cowboys. This sucks for you. But watch little Kyle Orton lead you into the playoffs.  

http://espn.go.com/dallas/nfl/story/_/id/10187713/tony-romo-dallas-cowboys-miss-rest-season

"Princess Serena"

And the Athlete of the Day goes to.........

Serena Williams

Serena Williams is a monster. Who is more dominant than her at their chosen sport? She is Jordan. She is Woods. And I am attracted to her. She might be built like a linebacker, but I find her attractive and I don't care what anyone thinks. Does this make me gay? No. No it does not. Because Serena is all woman. I bet she can beat most of my male friends in an arm wrestling contest, that alone makes me want her. I bet she can spit farther and throw a football farther than any of them to.

"Peyton One"

He might be a robot. Or he might be just a football dork. Either way, he is the best quarterback ever to live. I know he only has one title and always looks like he just ate a pack of rollos. But I like him. I like rooting for him. I like when he succeeds and hurt a little when he loses. Not sure why I feel this way. I just know I do. I admire greatness. It is something I strive for. Something I will dedicate my life towards. I think everyone wants to be the best at something. Peyton Manning has found what he is great at, and hopefully someday I will to.

http://espn.go.com/boston/nfl/story/_/id/10185381/tom-brady-new-england-patriots-peyton-manning-td-mark-incredible-feat

"Charlotte No"

Hey Mike. No one gives a shit. New logo for Charlotte? And this is warranted because? Will this help them not dribble the ball off their knee and out of bounds? I don't get it. Do you see anyone with Charlotte caps or jerseys? No one cares about this team, not even the people in Carolina. I wonder if this bothers Jordan at all. He has had so much success in basketball that owning the shit show must give him nightmares.

http://nba.si.com/2013/12/21/charlotte-hornets-logo-charlotte-bobcats-unveil/

"Park Down"

This is sad. Hollywood Park has been a refuge for dirtbags for ages. I can't count how many hotdogs I have eaten there. How many bad decisions I've made in it's parking lot. I used to get dressed up to go. If you have never been, getting dressed up to go to this place would be like dressing up to take out your garbage. But, never less, it was always fun. So what if you might get robbed, that was the point. Human beings need to be entertained and Hollywood Park was pure, dangerous entertainment.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-hollypark-final-20131222,0,6240856.story#axzz2oEOgthJT

"Fat Face"

Bad Ass Movie Trailer of the Day Goes To.......

"Fat City"

Christ. There is something about some 70's movies that make me feel dirty. Like I just rolled around in mud. "Fat City" is one of those movies. Stacy Keach reminds me of my alcoholic Uncle in this film. Yet, my Uncle is a little more classy and better looking. A lot of cigarettes and booze on this set. "Life is a B line to the drain" Keech says.  Yes, yes it is Stacy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVXhoiS0BPA

"Talking Reckless"

Told you player haters that LeBron gets upset when you make fun of his hairline. That he posterizes somebody when you talk shit. I don't blame Ben McLemore for this. He is a victim of circumstance. I blame Stephen Smith and Roy Hibbert for talking reckless about LeBron the other night. A night which Indiana lost to the Heat.

So keep doing it if you want him to rip off five titles in a row. Because his hairline is gonna get worse and I'm sure you player haters will let him know about it.

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/12/nba-lebron-james-miami-heat-ben-mclemore-dunk/

"Mr. Baseball"

Kevin Youkilis is playing in Japan. That sounds like the title to a "Bad News Bears" movie. I'm imagining "Youk" in his jock, running around whipping his teammates with a towel, speaking Japanese and not giving a fuck whatsoever. 

I mean really. Him in Japan should be a movie. Have you seen Mr. Baseball with Tom Selleck? I assume it would go much like that.  Him "accidentally" making a sorta racist comment. "Hey Jap! Bring me my socks!" Did I just assume that "Youk" is a racist? I did. But a fun racist, like Richie Incogonito.

He is going to be Godzilla over there for Christ sake. No one will be able to stop him. He's eating all the sushi. Drinking all the sake. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN_H71V6kZY

http://www.masslive.com/redsox/index.ssf/2013/12/youk_in_japan_former_boston_re.html

"Broadway Drunk"

You gonna be the one to tell "Broadway Joe" he can't have another drink? The one to say "Joe, you might want to take it easy". Will you? I don't think so. No one would. This man earned his drink. You got shotty knees from playing Football? Do you? I didn't think so. The saddest thing about this is that he apologized for it. Come on Joe. Broadway. Baby. You do what you want with no regrets. Don't apologize for anything.

http://deadspin.com/10-years-ago-today-joe-namath-wanted-to-kiss-you-1487103791

"Bo Knows"

Bo Jackson. When I hear that name I immediately think back to my childhood. I dedicated a corner of my room to Bo Jackson. I watched him smash homers and throw out runners from the warning track. Watched him run over cornerbacks and Brian Bosworth. I saw Brian Bosworth at a party once. He was surrounded by beautiful women, but all I could think about was him getting run over by Jackson. It essentially ended Bosworth's career and gave the world the movie "Stone Cold".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL47m1mQWZQ

So, if you are a fan of Jackson, ESPN's 30 for 30 about him is a must watch. Did you know he ran a 4.12 second 40 yard dash at 230lbs? Jerry Rice ran the 40 at 4.71seconds at 200lbs. So good luck stopping Jackson when he is running straight up the middle gaining speed. Just move the fuck out the way. Explains his 5 yards a carry average for a career. Jackson was the man. Bo Jackson fever swept the nation and then, just like that, it was over.

http://espn.go.com/30for30/film?page=you-dont-know-bo

"Carlin"

And the Joke of the Day goes to.............George Carlin.

"Why is it that the people who are against abortion, are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place".

Oh Carlin. He used to open with that joke. One of my favorites I tell ya. The pure hate for humanity he exuded in his later stand up performances is really something special. Go check out his "You are all diseased" performance. It is on Netfilx or just listen to the audio below. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzTXu7oG8WY

"Brady Bunch"

Call Tom Brady feminine, go ahead, do it. Trust me, he does not care. He is too busy letting Gisele sit on his face. If that is feminine go ahead and grab me an umbrella. Believe me. I want to hate on this guy more than any other athlete alive. I just can't. It does not make sense to. He wins, all the time.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10167799/skip-bayless-clutch-play-tom-brady

"Headache"

Happy Birthday to New York Met, David Wright. I'm sorry you play for the Mets, David. I really am. Try to have a good birthday today though. I know it will be hard, but I need you to really try. And please don't hurt yourself.

"Coach Mustache"

Why is no one talking about Aaron Rodgers mustache? It really is fantastic. If you showed that picture below to someone that did not know Rodgers, and were to ask them "Coach" or "Player", the majority would say "Coach". That mustache looks like it draws up plays. It would not surprise me if it jumped off Rodgers face and went up to the booth to deliver sound in game strategy.

http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2013-12-20/aaron-rodgers-out-sunday-green-bay-vs-pittsburgh-injury-report

"Sugar Bear"

When Matt Barnes is not beating his wife or other NBA players up, he's actually a pretty good basketball player. He returns tomorrow from a torn retina. Torn retina? Christ that sounds like it hurt. I wonder if one of his hoes took a swipe at him. That injury could not be from a game, no matter what the Clippers say. I feel Barnes was out on Santa Monica Blvd late night, when wrangling his hoes up went awry. Barnes looks like a 70's pimp to me. Like his name should be "Sugar Bear" or some shit.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-clippers-matt-barnes-20131220,0,112810.story#axzz2o3g8zpk1

"Scotch for Breakfast"

Kobe-less Lakers 'excited' about proving people wrong, D'Antoni says

http://www.latimes.com/sports/lakersnow/la-sp-ln-lakers-mike-dantoni-20131220,0,4909558.story#ixzz2o3J8OmvQ

Can someone tell me what that means? You are proving what? Excited for what? Are you saying you guys will be a better team without Kobe? Most people expect the Lakers to be exactly the same. We are not expecting anything. You know why? Because you are still the coach. As long as you are the coach, we ain't doing shit.

Is it me or does this guy look like he drinks scotch for breakfast? Sorry, still have a bad taste in my mouth from the D'Antoni/Knicks years.

"Pathetic"

The Most Disgusting Picture of the Day goes to.......

The Yankees giving Carlos Beltrans's daughter a Yankee jacket. Whoops. It looks like they forgot that he had two daughters. Unless Carlos is just teaching them how to share, what a father.

I don't think this is cute. Matter of fact, I find it pathetic. These two girls are to small to hit anything past the pitchers mound. I mean look at that girl's face. She is thinking about cookies, not ball.

http://www.nj.com/yankees/index.ssf/2013/12/carlos_beltran_officially_introduced_with_yankees_returns_to_new_york.html

"Settle down"

Apparently, Adrian Peterson was upset that he did not get to play last week. The question is why? Your team sucks Adrian. Take a game off. You are hurt, don't be mad. Why do you want to rush back on the field? You are not going to the playoffs. Maybe he has a fantasy team. Anyway, I feel bad for the Bengals.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/adrian-peterson-says-ready-play-sunday-devastated-miss-195235508--nfl.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

"Lemmy"

Crustiest Son of a Bitch of the Day goes to........Lemmy Kilmister.

This is pretty self explanatory. Have you see the documentary "Lemmy"? It really is a must watch. The crust comes off the screen. His blood pumps oil and whiskey. What are those two things on his face? I know. Lemmy's mom, who I suspect was a witch, was going to have triplets. But while in the womb, Lemmy destroyed them. They just were not tough enough. So those two pumps on his face are all that remains of his twin brother and sister. True story. Also, the guy has always looked like this. Can you picture Lemmy as a child? No? I can't either.

"Greenbacks"

I only like the Yankees because of Babe Ruth. The big dick swingin, hotdog eatin, dinger hittin, son of a bitch that transcended sports.

I like when new Yankees say "This is a dream of mine" or "I always wanted to wear pinstripes". They never mention the obscene amount of dollar bills that the Yankees are throwing their way. Just once I would like to hear a newly signed Yankee say " Well, Jesus Christ son. Did you see how much they offered me? I can buy Panama for fuck sake".

http://deadspin.com/is-this-babe-ruths-big-swinging-dick-1483655081

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/12/20/carlos-beltran-introduced-at-yankee-stadium/ 

"Candledump"

I thought an earthquake took this stadium long ago? Well, anyway, goodbye Candlestick! Thank you for the memories. I wonder how many times Barry Bonds injected steroids into his ass in the locker room of this place. Like deep down in its depths, with water dripping from pipes and shit.

It's about time they took this dump down. Out with the old, in with the new. I don't like old things. Let's push towards the future.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-candlestick-49ers-farmer-20131220,0,6178788.column#axzz2o2Q8iF9T

"Girl Fight"

Hotness. Girls fighting is hot to me. Even when the girls are ugly. Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate are not ugly. They are actually really attractive and equal parts deadly.

When my brother was in high school, he was at a party with the daughter of the local karate school teacher. He did not know who she was. So, while drunk, he said something to her that she did not like. Before he knew it, a foot hit him in the face. He did not go down, because after all, it was still a girl hitting him, he just stood in shock. He started taking karate soon after.

http://www.dailynews.com/sports/20131219/ronda-rousey-rips-the-ultimate-fighter-and-rival-coach-miesha-tate

PS: This should be a wrestling match.

"Pretty Boy"

Bad Ass Movie Trailer of the Day goes to..........

"Youngblood"

This movie made my nephew choose hockey over lacrosse. It is like a Shakespearian sonnet. Love, Hate, Betrayal, Redemption. I don't really know what a sonnet is. But it does sound funny.

Rob Low. Check. Dalton from Roadhouse. Check. Boobs. Check. Fighting. Check. Inspirational Brother who could've been something if he did not get hurt. Check. Crusty Coach. Check. Neo from the Matrix. Check. Tastefully shot love scene. Check. Broken Dreams. Check.

Really this movie is like the "Goodfellas" of hockey movies. "Slap Shot" being "The Godfather".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn6wNEv7M2w

"Stevie Bust"

Can we final say that Steve Nash is done? I get that he is white and Canadian so we all kind of feel sorry for him. Can we all admit that he was a bust in LA? I know he is polite and not as obtrusive as Dwight Howard but it is time to turn the lights down on this guy. Retire Steve. Please. You were great once Steve. Don't ruin that. I hate seeing great players limp through their final years. That shit needs to stop.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/lakersnow/la-sp-ln-steve-nash-lakers-injury-20131219,0,1779852.story#axzz2o2Q8iF9T

PS: This picture gives me nightmares.

"Sarkisian Who"

I can tell sleaze balls by pictures. Call it a gift. I am blessed that way. So, when I look at this picture of Steve Sarkisian, I can tell right away that he is guilty. That name is guilty. Sarkisian. Say it aloud. Sarkisian. Do you trust that name? I sure the hell don't. This guy is covering up for something. Look at his hair for God sake.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/college/usc/la-sp-ncaa-sarkisian-20131220,0,2469740.story#axzz2o2Q8iF9T

"'Beast"

Jabari Parker is a beast. A young beast. It amazes me how good athletes are getting. And guess what? They are only gonna get better. Bigger, stronger, faster. Watch, in about ten years, you are gonna see players that are fully grown at 14 and have already developed the skills needed to play professional sports. It is a scary thing. So guys, go find yourself a volleyball or softball chick. The bigger and more athletic the better. Trust me. It is the only way your future son will be able to compete.

http://scores.espn.go.com/ncb/recap?gameId=400502741

"Barry Class"

And The Athlete of the Day goes to........Barry Sanders.

Barry Sanders is pure class. He only played ten seasons in league and could have easily destroyed Walter Payton's history leading (at the time) rushing record. But he didn't. He did want to.

Walter Payton was his idol and correct me if I'm wrong, Sanders retired around the same time that Walter came out with his rare autoimmune disease.We all saw what that disease did to Payton. It took his great size and turned him frail and unrecognizable. People don't talk about that having an effect on Barry. But, I think it did. Pure class.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DcHoF0Gjao

"Stone Feet"

I love this type of shit. These kids should have their own reality show. They are from the mountains of Mexico and are called the "Barefoot Champions of the Mountain". I would quit my job now, if I could be part of a team with a name like that. It just slips off the tongue so easy. Just amazing. I bet these kids eat squirrels and push boulders up hill. Can you imagine their coach? Guaranteed that mother fucker wears an eye patch.

http://photos.dailynews.com/2013/12/photos-boys-mexican-basketball-team-takes-on-local-teams/

"Jager Bomb"

I just found out yesterday that Jaromir Jagr is 6'3 240. I did not realize how big that son of a bitch was. This now explains his prolonged dominance over the years. I always pictured him small and fast. I don't follow hockey, as you can tell, because the average fan would have known that.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nhl/2013/12/18/jaromir-jagr-reid-boucher-new-jersey-devils-ottawa-senators-steve-yzerman-nhl-career-goals/4120459/

PS: 693 goals is a shit ton.

"Revis Broken"

And the shakiest and most unconfident voice goes to Darrelle Revis when he said "Trust Me, I'll be fine". In reference to his surgical repaired knee that might or might not have been giving him problems this year.

I don't know how athletes recover from major ligament repair and then go back to play the game that most likely will cause the exact same injury. I had surgery on my hip years ago and I still get out of bed gingerly. I 'm always thinking I will fuck myself up again. I'm a prisoner in my own home is what I 'm saying.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10166108/darrelle-revis-tampa-bay-buccaneers-says-knee-not-100-percent

"J Clip"

Here is my boy Jamal Crawford. Careful you don't break your leg watching this. I knew this cat was good every since I was the Clippers in last years NBA 2K.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCqlscrBuQ8

"The Master of Disaster"

And Athlete of the day goes to.........Apollo Creed.

The world knows this man as Apollo Creed but I know him as the Count of Monte Fisto. I think he could have beat Ali if they fought, no problem. Mr. Creed's hand speed and movement would be too much for the pre-parkinson Ali. Just too much I say. We all know that Rocky was cut from stone, so losing to him is not a big deal.

Apollo was a 2014 athlete in the 70's. He was just too far ahead of his time for anyone to appreciate him. I know what you are thinking. What about "Drago"? Ivan Drago was on steroids and Creed never really lost that fight, he just died in the ring. Remember Rocky did not THROW IN THE TOWEL!

"Old Man Kobe"

I called it. You are getting old Kobe. Father time has caught up. You've had a good run. I 'm getting old to and I have no money and no championships. My knees are okay though, unlike your knees. And I have never been accused of rape. But it's okay. Enjoy this and retire. You put your work in and have five championships. One less than Jordan, but who pays attention to stuff like that. You are old Kobe. It happens to the best of us. Let Gasol lead the team with his work ethic.

PS: I have a feeling that he is gonna make me eat my words.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/kobe-bryant-six-weeks-fracture-left-knee-211020765--nba.html

"Larry Love"

Kevin Love is the modern day Larry Bird. There. I said it. I would not be surprised if one day Kevin Love rips of his face to reveal that it had been Bird all along. Like some Scooby Doo type shit. Wasn't he fat in college? What ever meal plan he is on is working. I am just in awe of him of late. Did anyone know he was gonna be this good? I sure didn't. Maybe it's the beard. I 'm gonna grow one and if I start hitting three's like Bird and start rebounding like The Worm, I will let everyone know. This cat has also added a sick passing game to his repertoire. The man is beast. He can do it all. Too bad he plays in fucking Minnesota.

WHOOPS. That is Laettner. Here we go. See below. There's Larry.

"Sports Metal Media Blog"

This is now a sports, metal and media blog. Just because I want to talk about other stuff. Stuff like, Kerry King.

Look at that son of a bitch. Look at him! If that man is not cut from the cloth of Satan, I don't know who is. Not only will he melt your face off with riffs, I have a feeling that he would put his fist through your face and wear your teeth as a bracelet. Not to mention he and his band, you might have heard of them, Slayer, blew my ears out last time I saw them. Blood was actually coming from my ears based on pure force of tone. It was like I was in hell. It was great. Here's to you Kerry King, for being such a crusty son of a bitch. Looks like this is the start of "Crusty Son Of A Bitch of the Day".

"Blow Mo"

Listen. I remember the face of Bill Parcell's as he watched Tony Romo flub a long snap in Seattle in '07. That single event sent Parcell's spiraling into a crack induced stupor that he is yet to come out of. It did not. I lied. But it should have.

Romo can't finish. I knew it that day and continue to know.Why does everyone else think he can? I saw Romo rip the heart out of Parcell's that day and as a Giants fan, it hurt my feelings. How could you do that to "The Big Tuna"? My God, the man is football to a lot of people. I will tell you one thing, when Parcell's hurts, I hurt.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=9120618

"In Breaking News"

The Knicks still suck. All of them. Tell them Billy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQu_T6-tBZk

PS: Patrick Ewing. If those bitches finally offer you a job. Pull your dick out and piss on um.

"Matt Kardashian"

Don't do it, Matt. Don't do it. Focus on ball. You need a great season this year to justify your contract. I don't care how good the pussy is, Matt. Don't do it. Go shag some fly balls. Get in the cage. Practice. Don't get caught up in this bullshit, Matt. All of LA begs you. Talk to Magic, Matt. Please. Look what happened to Lamar. Do you think he was smoking crack before he met her and her family? Yeah he ate a bunch of candy but he was not smoking ICE. Matt, talk to Lamar. These bitches are Armenian hexs. Matt listen to me. Go run around the stadium, Matt. Give your jersey to a handicap kid. Do anything but this. This ain't a game, Matt.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/16/khloe-kardashian-matt-kemp_n_4452899.html